


Awake My Soul

by octachoronAdrift



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Collegestuck, F/F, Humanstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 03:13:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2333177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octachoronAdrift/pseuds/octachoronAdrift
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die</i>
  <br/>
  <i>And where you invest your love, you invest your life</i>
</p><p>AKA: Nepeta is worried about the sincerity of her girlfriend's feelings, even when she knows she ought not be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Awake My Soul

You can't sleep. Usually, by the time you've finished with classes and wrestling practice and your evening workout, you've managed to expend enough energy to pass out quickly, but tonight, that isn't the case. You tried taking a shower, and then working out again, and then taking another shower, because unlike some people, you don't like sleeping drenched in sweat.

Unfortunately, none of this does any good, and you're damp regardless from your two showers, so you feel like you shouldn't have bothered wasting the second shower's water at all. Honestly, you're running out of ideas to get yourself to sleep, which you would really like to do soon, because you have class tomorrow and a test. You even tried doing what Equius does, heating up a cup of milk and drinking it, and you feel like that might actually have put you straight out if it weren't for the tumultuous thoughts weighing heavily on your mind.

You knew from the start they were the source of your insomnia; small, nagging anxieties that worm their way into your subconscious and croon quiet doubts in the solitary hours of the morning when nothing is around to soothe them away. Sometimes you can ignore them by pushing yourself to exhaustion and passing out the second your head hit the pillow, but tonight that's proving to not be the case. You stare up at the ceiling, tracing shapes in the textured paint with your eyes and wishing they'd be tired enough to shut.

When you feel as though you've nearly memorized the bumps on the ceiling, you allow your thoughts to drift to Porrim, your roomie of two months and girlfriend of two weeks. It's still surreal to you that she even said yes, like this is some drawn-out dream or an elaborate prank that will conclude with you embarrassed and Porrim laughing.

But she's not like that. She's never been like that, not when she was sixteen and underfed, a shivering runaway in a thin blanket on the floor of your dad's church, and not when you found your way into her store for your first tattoo and she had her palm pressed lightly over your hip, suggesting locations for it with twinkling eyes and a knowing smile. Porrim isn't the type to enact pranks at the expense of others, but that still leaves you wondering what exactly she sees in you. She's five years your senior, so it's not like you're any more vast and worldly than she, and as it is, she's seen everything. She's impossible to phase when you can sometimes barely speak around her, and even though she's reassured you about it, you feel as though you're simply much too clingy to ever be a viable partner for her.

You groan and sit up in bed, shaking your head in a feeble attempt to dislodge the thoughts that have wormed into it. Porrim wouldn't pity-date anyone, and she's certainly not pity-dating you. If she hadn't wanted to get together, she would have said so, not strung you along out of guilt. You just need to stop overthinking this and stop fretting about whether or not you're actually dating someone who is just as interested in you as you are her. You need to stop freaking out about accidentally scaring her off and enjoy the fact that you have a girlfriend at all.

This is stupid. You kick off your comforter and climb out of bed, feet touching silently on the carpet. Clearly, you aren't going to get any sleep like this, and you want to be up all night no more now than you did when you first realized tonight was a night for insomnia. Grabbing your stuffed cat, you trail quietly from your bedroom down to where Porrim sleeps. The door is open a crack, and when you tip it open, you can see her splayed out in her bed, sound asleep. Faltering in the doorway, you wonder again if this will be okay, but you force yourself to go forward and shut the door as you enter. Porrim's invited you to her bed before, she won't mind you being here. Ignoring the anxieties that have sprung up in your head, you prowl silently closer to her bed and crawl in, wiggling under the sheets.

Her eyes open and she looks at you, but you get the feeling she doesn't quite register your presence, because instead of booting you from her bed or saying anything, Porrim just makes a quiet noise in the back of her throat and rolls over towards you. She burrows into your side and slides an arm around your torso, legs tangling around yours. Her arm burns hot against your skin, and you can feel the moisture of her breath against your neck as she falls back asleep, twined around your body as if you were meant to be there all along.

You fall asleep thinking maybe you were.

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably about as cracky as it gets (no it's not). It doesn't get crackier than this (yes it does).
> 
> Porrim/Nepeta for all your obscure femslash needs.


End file.
